I admit it. Using my perspective to predict what issues will decide the election, resembles wetting a finger, then farting on it to determine which way the wind blows. But when I say that we're the last Western Country to ponder questions like: "Should Gay people have equal rights?", and "Should men decide when women can have an abortion?", I am just stating the obvious. It seems to me that pleasing the one-issue voters is more destructive then ever before. America is in unprecedented deep shit. Getting distracted again by issues that the modern world moved past decades ago, would be like Nero debating which note to play, or what violin to use while Rome is burning to the ground. Taking cues directly from God, the eight year evangelical presidency left behind a recession, waged 5 years of pointless war, broke records in national debt, mortgage defaults, and gas prices. Meanwhile Gay Republican predators roam the halls of Congress, and crowd our Airport's bathrooms. Presidential aides betray CIA operatives, and we practice torture. Finally, when life saving research, and successful AIDS prevention is obstructed to please the moral code of the "purpose driven", isn't it legit to wonder what that purpose is? One would think that after all ...

The bratty kid bribed one of the schoolyard bullies for protection. But when he sucker-punched the bigger kid he never liked, he got his ass beaten as the bully looked on. Sobbing uncontrollably, the little shit ran to the teacher. Fake hyperventilating, he used the other kid's size to get sympathy, crying that other kids would suffer the same if the other kid wasn't punished. In a similar attempt to manipulation, Georgian president Saakashvili first embarrassed his own country by naming a street after George Bush. He then sent 2000 troops to Iraq, as a sign of his unconditional allegiance. Betting on USA protection from Russia, he then ordered a surprise attack on south-Ossetia, killing several Russian soldiers. He lost. The Russians, not the type to turn the other cheek, repelled the attack, occupied other areas with potential for dispute, and bombed the shit out of their former province. The Russians had been grinding their teeth for years, witnessing their ex-girlfriend's slutty behavior. The Georgian leader realized he fucked up. Inspired by those who successfully argued that invading Iraq was adamant to world peace, he decided to play the most cynical of hands: the appeasement card. Heading the call, master of Hysteria Lou Dobbs, grimly observed a "resemblance to the ...

Increasingly, America is resembling that college drinking buddy, who at age 42 still wakes and bakes, and gets drunk every night. He claims he’s just having fun, but has quietly given up hope for a way out of his arrested development, having grown accustomed to the horror of limbo. On the outside, he plays his own apologist. On the inside, low self esteem confirms all his deepest fears. A progressive disease, it’s sufferer is consumed by denial, humiliation, self-loathing, isolation, and a mounting resentment toward a world that is doing just fine without revolving around him. How do you spot alcoholic behavior in a country? There are several universal indications that behavior is no longer a phase, but a pattern. - The subject has developed crippling dependencies: booze, heroin, foreign oil or cheap imports. - The subject declines to do a rigorous self-inventory to get his own house in order, and blames others: “It’s not my fault I have back pain”, “I have it under control”, or, “We don’t need to update fuel standards for US auto makers, or build hybrids to stay competitive in todays market”. - The subject makes excuses for unethical behavior: “They prescribed me Vicodin but Heroin is much cleaner”, “I”m not paying that credit ...

No matter what you type into a Google search, the answer comes from Wikipedia, the "free encyclopedia that anyone can edit". I had no desire to contribute to the 10 million articles already on there , until the site claimed that I was the singer of a band called Amen. John "Tumor" Fahnestock, the bass player in my band, Noise Within, plays for Amen, and they rock, but that's where the connection ends. Except for the tool that added the incorrect info on there, I'm pretty sure no music fan is confused over the matter, and I wasn't exactly bothered by it. But it got me thinking. Does anyone ever fact-check the main source of information for the modern world? Then I watched a film called Zeitgeist. It turns out that Christianity stems from paganism, the Industrial Military Complex is trying to install a world government, and 911 was an inside job. To most people, that is just ridiculous, but to me, it explains a lot. On it's website, the makers of the movie issue the following statement: " Very often people who look up "Horus" or "The Federal Reserve" on the Internet draw their conclusions from very general or biased sources. Online encyclopedias or text book Encyclopedias often do ...

Thrilled with my own cleverness, I googled "Obamination". No Marvel Comics Obama links, but pages of right winger blogs in stead. Apparently, a "conservative" African American named Erik Rush started the whole "Obama goes to a racist church" nontroversy back in February 2007. The title of the piece: Obamination. He started off the article by asking the question: "Would you vote for anyone belonging to a Church with the following credo?" He then quoted the church's mission statement, but replaced the word black with white. This intellectually lazy approach of ignoring the context of black people in America to make a point, had been taken before, mostly by men in sheets. But the fact that a black man went there, was seized upon by Fox News windbag Sean Hannity, who gave the writer airtime on his show. A disciple of Alan Keyes, the author blames the enslavement of black people not on the white religion that enabled it, but, get this: on the "corruption of the black clergy by white socialists". Translation: only the market can restore civil rights. On the "Renew America" website it is also proclaimed that "America must return to its founding principles if it is to survive". I wasn't sure how to interpret ...

Concentrated yeast extract in a jar. Not exactly the first thing that comes to mind when considering bread toppings. I remember my mom experimenting with the Euro version, called "Marmite", when I was a kid. Needless to say, the jar wasted away in the cupboard after a first try, next to the supply of Nutella, which couldn't be restocked fast enough. Contrary to my instinct, producing jars of it excites American Corporations. Originating from Australia, here it is marketed as a product called Vegemite The convince the younger demographic, The Kraft Foods marketing department offers a slideshow with different variations of it's product, applied to plain toast. HEY KIDS! Who's up for some bread with coagulated rat excrement on top? With names like "The Crumpeter","The Streaker", "The Edger", "The Redback, "The Vegecadoer", and "The Nudist", the salty, sour coagulated soy paste is packaged in a colorful, inviting wrapper. To appeal to more selective adults, a wide range of recipes is offered. Breakfast: Croissants with scrambled egg, and Vegemite. Lunch: Vegemite marinated Lamb Shank and Vegetable soup, or gourmet chicken burger, with Vegemite. Dinner: Indian style chicken wings, with Vegemite. or Garlic beef and Vegetables, with Vegemite. Hosting a party? Vegemite is an all-round entertaining solution. As appetizers, Kraft suggest a subtle ...

For the last 8 years, being a Dutch American has had it's awkward moments...like when I showed an Arab coffee shop owner my California ID when buying pot. Or when Bill o'Reilly claimed, during the hysteria about Teri Schiavo, that in Holland you could walk into any hospital and have them euthanise you. If Bush would try to give a speech anywhere in Europe, there would be riots. But as much as I despise everything the man stands for, I would feel uncomfortable throwing eggs at him. Kinda like being in a bar when your buddy behaves like a drunk asshole and starts a fight. You know he is wrong, but you still have his back. When 911 happened, I heard that Moroccans were cheering in the streets near the town I grew up in. Then Theo van Gogh was murdered in the streets by a self righteous, welfare-fed wannabe Osama. I was furious. I had he same sentiment when the dutch government withdrew protection for Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Mostly, I was glad I moved to the USA. Holland seems to be unable to pry it's identity away from the hands of bullying Muslim zealots. The political correctness, or even cowardice, ...

The McCain blunder of the day (describing the Sunni awakening that happened before the surge, as a result of the surge) was followed this morning by a talking point that seemed to have been harvested straight from Satan's rectum. Feeling passed over, the old codger's campaign suggested that Obama had been insincere during his visit to the holocaust museum in Israel. He had been disingenuous, when he did what every visiting dignitary does: giving a "say no to genocide" speech. After all, it was Obama who said that stopping genocide wasn't a good enough reason to send U.S. forces anywhere? "Doesn't that strike you as inconsistent?" McCain aide Michael Goldfart shrieked. Could the senate's most liberal secret Muslim be back paddling from his former denial of the Holocaust? Aides in Tucker Carlson bow ties were high-fiving each other over the magnitude of their scoop. It would be a good week after all, aside from being completely absent from America's mind. Back in reality, the Huffington Post offered Obama's entire quote in context. During a debate over why we shouldn't be in Iraq, Obama said, in regard to genocide prevention: "Well, look, if that's the criteria by which we are making decisions on the deployment of ...

The windbags on TV seem to be especially on fire this week. Foaming at the mouth, Louis Dobbs is watching the world in disbelief. In a fit of nostalgia, Loudolf cried out that Obama "uses too many foreign advisers". Who isn't longing for the days when life was simple, and only henry Kissinger influenced national policy? John McCain knows better then that. In stead of boring the mob with long winded ponderings, he cleverly visits Iraq for photo-ops and yells "Send more troops!". He accused Obama of not knowing the situation on the ground in Iraq, then proceeded to display his expertise on the matter by elaborating on the dangers of the Iraq - Pakistan border. Priceless.

The sixties.When people fucked everything that moved, without ANY consequences beyond maybe, the clap. When doing drugs was still cool. A fun and happy thing. Nobody had choked on their own vomit yet after using them, or had gone broke and turned to performing fellatio in order to acquire them. In this foul year of our lord, 2008, drug addiction is a well recognized disease, S.T.D.'s can kill you, and most former hippies are rich. incorporated, and attending 12-step meetings. But they are still horny as ever. Their generation did not succeed in curing cancer, ending pollution, or halting the military Industrial Complex. Not even close. They did invent a pill that gives old dudes huge mega boners, for hours at a time, without them having to smoke any weed, or snort cocaine. No generation has moved on, and adapted to modern day society more successfully than the hippies. Void of nostalgia they shag on. Without even glancing in the direction of the ideals they left behind, what remains of the beat generation is an army of wrinkled energizer bunnies. SIZE Medium Large X-Large ...